#009: Fighting Shadows
Go Buy This Amazing Book!
I had the great privilege of being apart of the launch team for Jon Tyson and Jefferson Bethke’s upcoming book Fighting Shadows: Overcoming 7 Lies That Keep Men From Becoming Fully Alive, to be published and available for everyone on May 21st, 2024.
From the description:
In a world that’s grown increasingly confused about—and hostile toward—the very notion of masculinity, authors Jefferson Bethke and Jon Tyson send a powerful call to men everywhere: it's time to step into the light of Jesus' vision for you as a man.
There's a shadow that's settled over the hearts of men today. Masculinity is in crisis. Critiques about the dangers of toxic masculinity and the abuses of patriarchal systems have grown louder than ever. The very notions of masculinity and manhood are under attack. In response to cultural shifts, some have doubled down on old stereotypes in ways that just add to the conflict and confusion.
The result? Many men simply feel paralyzed—worried about saying the wrong thing, unsure what to do with their ambitions or strengths, simultaneously tempted and shamed by a hypersexualized and pornified culture. Our models and mentors have failed us. Based on their years of working in men's ministry, Bethke and Tyson have good news for men looking for clarity and courage in this age of quiet desperation. In Fighting Shadows, they help men
overcome the temptations of escapism, passivity, or overcompensation;
combat the most harmful shadows that men battle today, including loneliness, apathy, distraction, lust, and shame; and
embrace masculinity as a God-given gift, not a curse to be avoided, suppressed, or battled.
An entire generation of men is being told they should abdicate the responsibility and joy of living into God's calling on their lives—don't be one of them. If you're a man who's wondering what to do with your strength, your longings, and your gifts, it's time to step out of the shadows. Jesus has a vision for you.
I resonate deeply with that description.
I am a young man: 24, married 3 years, recently became a first time dad to my 3 month old son. Been in ministry 4 years, grew up a pastor‘s kid, got a Bible degree and hoping to begin working on my masters soonish. Trying to build a meaningful, Godly, Jesus shaped life that is beautiful, good, and true. All of those pressures together make me a man hungry for encouragement, direction, training, and formation to become all that God has called me to be so I can give my life away to those he’s called me for.
Along my journey of formation into a man, Jeff Bethke and Jon Tyson have each been majorly impactful for me on so many levels. When they started collaborating back when their Intentional Family podcast came out, I was unbelievably excited to see how their genius would come together - and I have not been disappointed!
This may be a spoiler alert - but I really loved this book. And if you are a man, you know a man, you know a boy who is becoming a man you should buy this book, read it yourself and give it to them, too. This book is so important. I wanted to share my thoughts and encourage you to engage with it because it has much to do with exactly the goals and DNA of Crushing Serpents - following Jesus, resisting the enemy, and pursuing the Good, the True, & the Beautiful in this cultural moment.
During reading Fighting Shadows as part of the launch team, I consistently felt two distinct feelings:
I felt seen.
I felt hope.
I have distinct memories all throughout my life (I am a Genz 24 year old) of feeling bad about being a boy/man, ashamed of my gender.
First it was due to hearing the negative experiences of women close to me at the hands of other men. I remember thinking, "Is this all I have to look forward to? This is not what I see in Jesus." Later in high school, in the 2014-2018 era which felt like the beginning of much of the social media-culture war outrage, I began to constantly hear the narrative of how bad men were, that my masculinity was something inherently negative and destructive. I remember thinking, "Do I have nothing good to offer this world? Am I sidelined? Is there something wrong with me?"
On the other hand, I grew up as a Pastor's Kid in Church. The good of that was I had strong convictions about God's design for equality and partnership between men and women, that my masculinity was a beautiful, God-given reality, and that God had a plan for how He wanted me to live that out. Yet, negatively, I saw the hypocrisy and abuse of male (and female) leaders, the overreaction they had to the culture wars, and more. At the same time, the church seemed to want to placate me - it didn't know what to do with my passion, my energy, my questions.
So I, like many other young Christian men, have had a sense of low grade despair and the feeling of my hope like a fire slowly being suffocated for lack of oxygen. The world seemed to hate me - the Church, I felt, didn't know what to do with me. I have often felt confused and alone - my biblical convictions remain, but the Church and the world both don't seem to make sense of them. I have tried my best to be a good man, I have many leaders and men I look up to who seem to embody the kind of man I want to be, but I realize that I don't really know how to get there.
Enter Fighting Shadows - I felt seen and I felt hope reading each chapter. Jon and Jeff seemed to hit the nail on the head - they named my experience, despair, and confusion I have had. I realized I am not the only man going through this and wondering if there's a way forward to be a healthy, strong, powerful, loving man in the world and the Church. And that is where I felt hope - with nuance, clarity, empathy, and truth they reignited that dying fire. There is a way forward! I don't have to be some Andrew Tate alpha male, but I don't have to relegate myself to a life of quiet despair and untapped potential. I can be formed into the image of Jesus. I have a God-given purpose, energy, ambition, and place in the world and in his kingdom. And this isn't some lofty, pie-in-the-sky idea of manhood that is vague and impractical. It is clear that through years of engagement, thought, reflection, and hands-on, practical ministry with men that they have produced something tangible and real for men like me and you.
I am so grateful to have been able to read and review this book early so that I can spread the word about the amazing things that Forming Men, Jon Tyson, and Jeff Bethke are doing for Christian men in this cultural moment. Check out all the great stuff they’re doing - podcasts, masterclasses, events, books, and so much more. As a man trying to follow Jesus and navigate my identity and purpose in this cultural moment, I cannot recommend what they are doing highly enough!
Prepare to be woken up and challenged, to be seen and loved right where you are, to be given hope, and to be called and inspired towards a godly, cruciform, powerful way of being a man. Go buy this book! This is a book I will buy multiple copies of to give to friends.
Hic Sunt Dracones.